How to write your wedding vows: a simple method, an outline and examples

Wedding vows are the promises you make to each other, in your own words, during the ceremony. You don't need to be a writer: your guests came for the two of you, and what they remember is something true, said simply. This guide gives you a method, an outline and a few first lines to adapt.

Do you have to write your own vows in Ontario?

No. Personal vows are optional. For a civil marriage, Ontario's Marriage Act asks for a short statement of consent that each of you says to the other, in front of your officiant and your witnesses, in English or French. It starts with "I call upon these persons here present to witness that I…". Our guide gives the exact legal words of an Ontario wedding.

Your personal vows come on top of that statement, never instead of it.

How do you write your vows, step by step?

1. Talk about it first. Agree on the length, the tone (tender, funny, or both) and whether you will share your vows before the day or keep them a surprise.
2. Gather a few memories. When you met, the moment you knew, what your partner does that nobody else does, a hard time you got through together.
3. Choose one moment to open with. One short, precise story says more than a list of qualities.
4. Write three or four promises. Mix a big one with small, concrete ones you can really keep.
5. End with a line to your partner. A few words that only they need to hear.
6. Read it aloud and time it. Cut what repeats, until it fits in one to two minutes.

An outline you can follow

1. A moment or a quality: why you chose each other.
2. What your partner brings to your life.
3. Three or four promises.
4. A closing line, spoken to them.

A few ways to begin

• "The first time I saw you…"
• "I knew it was you when…"
• "You make ordinary days feel like…"
• "Before I met you, I didn't know…"

Promises that sound like you

The best promises are specific. Instead of "I will always support you", try "I will always come to your races, even at six in the morning". Instead of "I will love you forever", try "I promise to choose you again on the days it isn't easy". A light promise ("I promise to let you pick the movie, sometimes") can sit next to a serious one.

How do your vows fit in the ceremony?

Most couples say their personal vows just before or just after the legal statement of consent, then exchange rings. Your officiant can prompt you line by line, or hold your card while you read. Agree on the order together, so the moment feels natural.

Writing them with your officiant

With Celebrance, your ceremony script has a section for your vows, next to the legal words, which are already filled in with your names. You can write, comment and adjust it with your officiant until the day before the ceremony, when the script is locked. See our wedding officiants in Ontario.

Sources: ontario.ca: 90m03